My Junk Mail

Some advice to my readers. Organize your inbox and never cut and paste stuff into notepad, that’s precisely what I did with this job application, now I can’t remember who it was for or what job. Can anyone help? Maybe you’ve seen this somewhere else.

A varied role, applicants should be experienced with delaying Freedom of Information requests. Responsibilities will include data mis-management, and the applicant should be able to invent new methods of data manipulation, destruction and total loss.

Applicants should be able to demonstrate a reliable and consistent approach to e-mail deletion, although some training will be given.

Experience with Excel or Matlab is not necessary, our bespoke in-house program ensures that all our graphs automatically slope up towards the right.

Applicants must be able to keep a straight face during internal enquiries and must wear a suit to Parliamentary enquiries.

And I thought this was another of those junk email scams until I got to the second paragraph, something rang true. Nervertheless I thought it better to redact the email address.

I am making this contact with you, based on reliable information available in internet business index and confirmed by my local chambers of commerce concerning your reputation. This is to seek your cooperation as my foreign partner and your assistance to enable me to transfer funds.

Before his death, my father is investing $22,000,000 in carbon trading credits on the European market and another $27,000,000 in a solar panel making plant in Jermany. I seeking a partner with a UK bank account so that I may transfer all the moonies soon before dodgy investment lose more money. Should you be willing to act as an intermediary, your are being rewarded with a remittance of $2,000,000 after you pay me $60,000 for the paperwork what my solicitor says needs happen first.

All other information to facilitate the remittance of the funds will be revealed to you in due course.

I am llooking forward to hear your reply when you have been reading the proposal.
yours sineceerly
Moses Crikey

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