Atonement

Here’s something for the eco-loonies to dwell on.

The general public are fed up with you. Fed up with your whining, fed up with your lies and fed up with your endless hyper-ventilating. You have lost the public’s trust and regaining it will be difficult.

Here are a few ideas that might help you work around this problem.

  • Some of your ideas are quite good, but almost invariably they involve us giving you our money, this is a potential source of resentment if not handled carefully.
  • When statistically significant warming starts up once again, as it will (have faith), and temperatures rise at 0.1C per decade, are you optimistic that people who are shivering and struggling to pay their energy bills will flock back to support your valiant cause? Use the intervening time to a) shut up or b) take a break.
  • Have you ever apologised for any of your mistakes? We understand that it would require quite a lot of time to go through them all and then do the actual apologising, but it could be a worthwhile exercise.
  • What about a makeover for your narrative. I could suggest some more snappy slogans, off the top of my head I could recommend ‘Stand and Deliver’, it’s short, snappy and leaves the public in no doubt as to the matter in hand. At the moment you are running with ‘Global warming is real, happening now and it’s your fault’. That doesn’t have a very nice ring to it and fails to address the bottom line, for example how do we pay, what’s the interest rate and whether you take VISA or Mastercard etc.
  • Sometimes you appear to behave like bullies. Quite a few people, I suppose I’m an example, stand up to bullies. That can lead to endless confrontation.
  • Disassociation from the creepy green weirdos. Why not get rid of your spooky side-kicks? Those for example that hate humans, I know it’s a big chunk of your support base but if you at least started with those who want to send us to internment camps in the hills or have us treated for mental illness just because we have a few doubts about your cause. Also, there’s all those Eugenicists who want the right virus to come along and wipe out most of Earth’s population. And those who want us barcoded or have identity chips implanted like dogs. And those who compares humans to cancer cells.
  • When choosing climate change delegates don’t deprive poor villages of an important member that has a long standing and traditionally defined function within that community.

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